Read these 27 Basic questions Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Divorce tips and hundreds of other topics.
If your spouse has left but continues to pay all of the household bills, do not be fooled. Your spouse may end the financial support at any time. Get copies of your household TRW as well as mortgage and bank statements. Go for a consultation with an attorney to plan your next move.
When you decide that you will file for divorce, be prepared. Get all the financial information you can find. Know what your liabilities and assets are, know your spouse's social security number. Your lawyer will need all of this information to begin the foundation of your motion.
When going through a divorce, and you are seeking to have the marital property for a period of time, be sure to ask for exclusive *possession* rather than exclusive *occupancy*. The difference is that if you have possession, and at some point want to move and rent it...you may, if you have exclusive occupancy, then you must live there in order to keep it.
When you are served with a motion for divorce, you must get a lawyer. Do not think that if you do not answer these papers or cooperate that your spouse will not be able to divorce you. In fact, your spouse may be able to not only get a divorce, but everything that they ask for. Once you are served with papers, it becomes a matter between you and the Court. Do NOT call the lawyer that your spouse is using just to get him/her to understand that you do not want a divorce; this person works for your spouse and will not do anything that is in your best interest. Find a lawyer of your own and counterfile.
Decide with your spouse the best way to inform your children of why you are divorcing, and tell them together if possible. Try to let them know what to expect in straightforward and realistic terms. Answer any questions simply and directly. It is not necessary to give them more information than requested. If they ask embarrassing or inappropriate questions, let them know that these subjects are between mom and dad.
Reading a series of books recommended to me by a
Support Group located in the DC area helped change my
life. Here's just a few:
"First Person Singular" by Stephen Johnson, PH.D. (1977)
"Life Lessons: 50 Things I Learned From My Divorce" by Beth Joselow (1994)
"Crazy Time" by Abigail Trafford (1982)
Please see my attached Links for other recommended
readings. Good luck.
When you file for divorce the division of property will be determined by the laws of your state. If you are in an equitable distribution state, then property that is not in both names will be divided by number of years of the marriage, and what each has contributed. In a community property state it is divided 50 - 50.
This question depends on the state you are in. For example: a divorce in Michigan takes 60 days without children and 180 days (6 months) with children. This time period begins from the time you first file your first papers with the court. Call your Circuit Court in your county to find out your exact "Waiting Period" or look for Divorce Guidelines for your state.
Divorcing when your children are young can have beneficial affects for your children. They do not grow up in home that has been filled with angry words only to end up having their parents divorce. A young child from a divorced family does not know any other way of living, and, if the parents are cooperative and respectiful, comes to feel that he\she has two homes.
When the children want to know why their parents are getting divorced, do not go into detail. Tell the children that you fight too much and you have both tried, but cannot resolve the issues. Do not tell them it is because mom sees other men or dad has a girlfriend, this will only hurt the children and their sense of self. Tell the children that you each love them and that this will never change, but that mom and dad can no longer live together.
When searching for a lawyer there are some important qualifications you should look for. He should: have experience in matrimonial law; be familiar with current pension, retirement and tax issues relevant to late-life divorce, if that's your situation; be affordable or willing to allow you to pay in increments; be sympathetic to your personal values; be able to negotiate with your spouse's attorney and litigate in court if necessary; be comfortable advising you if you decide to seek mediation.
After the divorce, and one parent moves away from the other parent, the Court may find that the parent who moved must bear the expense of any visitation travel involved. If both parents have agreed to the move, then the Court may find that both parties must share in the cost of transportation.
Often, parents wonder if it would be better to wait until the children are grown to file for divorce. The parent's first concern should be for their children. If you feel that you can wait for the children to grow up before you file, you might want to try marriage counseling. If you are living in a toxic environment, then it is hurting the children and you more than a divorce will.
Call your local bar association, call your local Court and look in the phone book. Interview the lawyers remember they will be working for you. Ask other people who have gone through a divorce. Make sure that the lawyer is an expert in the field of domestic law not one who does a small case load of divorces and the majority of his work is real estate. Look for a lawyer who is well known at the court and well respected in the legal community, this means that they are seasoned and that is what you want.
|Sheri Ann Richerson|