Custody & Visitation Tips

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What is parental alienation?

Getting the children out of the line of fire

If you have an alienating spouse, ask the Court to grant you visitation, with the transfer of the children being done on Fridays at school and Monday return to school. This will relieve the tension the children experience as they attempt to go from the alienating parent to the non-custodial parent. It will also make you a visible presence in the children's lives, to the school, and the children's peers.

   
My ex does not understand, I have custody so what I say goes, right?

Custody means being in charge

If you are granted child custody do not think this means that you are in charge. Do not feel that the other parent is somehow lesser in the status of being a parent. If you take the stance that you have child custody therefore what you say goes you may end up being the visiting parent.

   
What is a child care plan?

Child care plan

When going through the forensic evaluation make sure you have a reliable child care plan. A child care plan is an important issue in the evaluation process.

   
Can I call my child´s teacher?

The meaning of visitation

Visitation is an agreement as to when the non-custodial parent will have access to the children, it does not mean that you are no longer a parent. A visiting parent may go to the schools, talk to professionals who have access to their child, and enroll them in sports or services as needed. The only time you are not permitted to do these parenting functions is when a Court orders that you do not engage in these activities.

   
What is joint custody?

A joint custody agreement

When agreeing to joint child custody define the terms in a manner that will work for both parents and the children. Joint child custody does not need to mean a 50-50 sharing of the children's physical time.

   
My ex is suing me for custody, what can I do?

Keeping custody

To keep child custody of your child you must remember that the child has two parents and that the child needs both parents in their life. If your ex is a true threat to the child, then the child must be kept safe. If there is no danger than the child must be permitted to love both parents.

   
What is a custody evaluation?

Custody Evaluations

A child custody evaluation is ordered by the Court or asked for by one of the litigants. The purpose of the evaluation is to make recommendations to the Court in the best interest of the child. The factors that the mental health evaluator takes into consideration are: who will best care for the child, provide the child with a stable conflict-free environment, provide appropriate physical and psychological care, and be supportive of the child's educational needs.

   
My ex has custody, does that mean that I have to have her permission?

The meaning of custody

Child custody means that the child will reside with one parent. It does not mean that the "visiting parent" or non-custodial parent is any less a parent.

   
Where do I find support for fathers.

Fathers with custody.

Fathers who have child custody of their children face some different difficulties than mothers with child custody. The children often find their peers asking why their mom was bad, and the dads are often left out of normal children's activities that are attended by moms.

   
Why should I send my ex clothes with the kids?

Sending the children on visitation

When you send the children on their visits, give them what they need. If your ex does not send the clothing or items back, attempt to talk to them about the problem. Tell your ex that you send the children with what they need so the visits will be pleasant for everyone and that the children need these things returned so they will feel good about both parents. If the things are not returned then simply do not send replacements for what is already there. Do not tell the children that they cannot take their things as this makes the children feel deprived.

   
I want to see my baby every other weekend, isn´t this fair?

Visitation for children under one year of age

Infants need frequent, but shorter, visits. Seeing your child every other day for two or three hours will assist in the bonding of parent and child. Longer visits for the child will adversely affect the relationship.

   
My ex wants to share the parenting, wont this confuse our child?

Shared parenting

Children of divorce do best when their parents are able to share them. This is beneficial to the parents as well, as it relieves some of the burdens of being a single parent. Putting aside your differences for the sake of your children is the best gift you can give them.

   
Can I get custody of my step-child?

Step-parents as parents

If you have served as a step-parent and have become what is called the psychological parent of a child you may well be able to gain child custody.

   
Why does my ex send the children without clothes for their visit?

The children's belongings

Allow the children to take their toys, clothing, etc. with them, if they wish, as they go back and forth between their parent's homes. Do not tell the children something must stay at your home because you paid for it.

   
Should I agree to joint custody?

Joint custody

Joint child custody only works when both parents are able to work together, and have a mutual respect for one another.

   
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