Read these 15 Custody & Visitation Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Divorce tips and hundreds of other topics.
If you have an alienating spouse, ask the Court to grant you visitation, with the transfer of the children being done on Fridays at school and Monday return to school. This will relieve the tension the children experience as they attempt to go from the alienating parent to the non-custodial parent. It will also make you a visible presence in the children's lives, to the school, and the children's peers.
If you are granted child custody do not think this means that you are in charge. Do not feel that the other parent is somehow lesser in the status of being a parent. If you take the stance that you have child custody therefore what you say goes you may end up being the visiting parent.
Visitation is an agreement as to when the non-custodial parent will have access to the children, it does not mean that you are no longer a parent. A visiting parent may go to the schools, talk to professionals who have access to their child, and enroll them in sports or services as needed. The only time you are not permitted to do these parenting functions is when a Court orders that you do not engage in these activities.
To keep child custody of your child you must remember that the child has two parents and that the child needs both parents in their life. If your ex is a true threat to the child, then the child must be kept safe. If there is no danger than the child must be permitted to love both parents.
A child custody evaluation is ordered by the Court or asked for by one of the litigants. The purpose of the evaluation is to make recommendations to the Court in the best interest of the child. The factors that the mental health evaluator takes into consideration are: who will best care for the child, provide the child with a stable conflict-free environment, provide appropriate physical and psychological care, and be supportive of the child's educational needs.
Fathers who have child custody of their children face some different difficulties than mothers with child custody. The children often find their peers asking why their mom was bad, and the dads are often left out of normal children's activities that are attended by moms.
When you send the children on their visits, give them what they need. If your ex does not send the clothing or items back, attempt to talk to them about the problem. Tell your ex that you send the children with what they need so the visits will be pleasant for everyone and that the children need these things returned so they will feel good about both parents. If the things are not returned then simply do not send replacements for what is already there. Do not tell the children that they cannot take their things as this makes the children feel deprived.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|