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When you send the children on their visits, give them what they need. If your ex does not send the clothing or items back, attempt to talk to them about the problem. Tell your ex that you send the children with what they need so the visits will be pleasant for everyone and that the children need these things returned so they will feel good about both parents. If the things are not returned then simply do not send replacements for what is already there. Do not tell the children that they cannot take their things as this makes the children feel deprived.