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Don't put your kids in the middle of your domestic problems. Do not use your kids as message carriers or spies. Communicate with your ex directly or indirectly in writing if necessary, but don't ask your child to relay your message. If it is a negative message, your child bears the brunt of the other person's anger, which only confuses the child who is trying to be loyal to both of you. Children should be taught to love and respect both of their parents, regardless of whether or not one is worthy of it. A child should not be put in the middle of having to choose between two parents. A child should love you both, not just the one most deserving (in our eyes anyway). Assure your child that you both love him/her and that will never change. Keep them out of your domestic squabbles.