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If your child begins to act out during or after the divorce, do not assume that it is the other parent's fault. Ask your child why they are unhappy and do it in a manner that does not give them the answer you want to hear. For example, do not say "are you doing badly in school because you do not like to visit dad?" Instead, say "why do you feel you have not been doing well in school, lets see what we can do to improve your school work." This leaves dad or mom out and allows the child to state what he or she really feels. Children wish to please adults and often they will answer what they think you want to hear, not what they are feeling.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|