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Often when you are filing for a divorce and your spouse does not want to be divorced, you must cope with seeing them going into a depression. This is a difficult position to be in, on one hand you know that you can no longer be married to this person, on the other hand you do not want to see them hurt. If you see that your soon to be ex is experiencing depression, tell them that they must get help. Call up one of your inlaws or a mutual friend and ask that they intervene and attempt to get your ex some help. Do not feel guilty, do not weaken, as you can not be happy if you return to a life that does not work for you. Assist, but resist the temptation to become a human sacrifice.
I put off divorce for years because I didn't want to hurt my former spouse, because he portrayed himself to be emotionally fragile. Instead, I stayed and became severly depressed. This progressed to a point where in order to psychologically save myself, the marriage legally ended. Essentially, any caring had evaporated many years earlier.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|